EzraUlo

It wouldn’t take much thought to know who Wonderwoman is. Her real name is Aurora. And she’s my mom. And I’m the proudest daughter in the whole world.

My mom was born in a family of 9 in Bataan. She has 2 mothers, 1 dad, and  5 siblings. They call her “ditche” and is the second among the siblings. She was the first to graduate, and the one behind the graduation of two of her siblings. Her family belonged to the lower working class, the types that didn’t have much capability at sending all their sons and daughters to college.

At an early age, my mom already showed how bibo she was. She was a very good singer and has won many singing contests here and there. She was also the brightest and most loved in her class- loved due to her energy and uber friendliness.  Even now in Bataan, when one speaks of her name, everyone would just have that famiiliar spark and say, “Ay si Oreng? Matalinong bata yon!” My intelligence, I guess, was in large part due to her.

As I was saying, she did not grow up in a well-to-do family. She had to work her butt off to finance her studies in high school and college. She worked as a katulong to one of her cousins who were better off than they were. When I was young, I would remember her stories of hardship- how she had to wake up way early in the morning (3am) to wash their clothes, cook food, and prepare the baons. After that she would clean the house, mop and polish the floors, and clean some more. She would be finished at about 3pm, in time for school. After school, she would go back to her Cinderella chores and iron the clothes until the wee hours. She’d sleep a bit and wake up again to another slave day. I also remember her telling me stories on how she used to sell Sweepstakes tickets and how happy she was when she picked up a twenty peso bill during the night and woke up only to find out that it was only a piece of old newspaper.

When I was about 3 or 5 years old, she would bring me along to her office where I would stay most of the day and watch farmers tend to the strawberry fields. We didn’t have a nanny, so she had to bring me along so someone would look after me. When she had to travel to other provinces, still she would bring me along and bring with her our large electric fan just to make sure I wouldn’t sweat like a horse while travelling. She had all that I needed. And one could say I was a very pampered kid.

When I was already old enough, I’d stay home with dad and my siblings. Due to our growing needs, she had to work somewhere far and could only go home once a month. Even throuh those difficult times, when she did come home, she never forgot to buy us some special something to make us feel that she remembered us though she was far away. Sometimes she stayed longer, and I loved those days. When I’d come home, the house was spic and span and swimming with the delicious aroma of home cooked goodies. She’d have for me a clubhouse sandwich and some juice. Truly something a school grader would love coming home to.

My mom also had to put up with domestic violence. This happened when I was in 1st grade. It was hard for us three, but I couldn’t imagine how much harder it was for my mom. I am amazed at how she was able to put up with that and not end up going crazy or simply giving up. I remember how one day she told us to put our pictures in a frame for dad to see. And then we left to live at one of her friend’s house. She quit her job because she couldn’t work well with the emotional problems she’s bearing. But again she stood up and started selling food to her former colleagues and doing manicures and pedicures for other people. If I could have been in her place, I would have been too embarassed to sell kanin and ulam to my former colleagues. But no, she was strong and courageous. She would not succumb to defeat.

Now she’s still staying strong despite her marital problems (I’m not really sure if its a failed marriage coz she and my dad are civil and not annulled). I can feel her loneliness sometimes but she doesn’t really make us notice it too much. How I wish she could be really happy. I have tried to make her happy in my own way- like being an A student, graduating from the best university in the country, finishing my master’s degree, and yeah, she never had to put up with any teenage problem from me- I don’t smoke, never do drugs, and I didn’t even have any failing grades ever. I’m very proud of my mom. There are times when she really gets on my nerves (like when she’s being sooooo makulit or when she starts talking like an armalite) but that doesn’t diminish one bit the great love and awe I have for her. She’s my superhero.

Me and Wonderwoman

It’s funny how this post is in time for Mother’s Day. Come to think of it, I’ll treat her to a movie and at Bellini’s this Mother’s Day. I love you Ma!

She does not know

How much I adore

Everything about her,

How often she makes me smile,

Or how empty the world will be

Without her blissful laughter.

She’s the girl

Who loved to play

Rain or shine,

Every afternoon

At the swing by the lagoon.

She’s the one who cried

When her wounds

Were treated with alcohol.

The one who tried

To mend mine

Claiming she would be a doctor.

She’s the girl who ate

All my Tootsie Rolls

For she absolutely loved them.

She’s the one who stepped

On spiders with fear

But with nothing less than hate.

She’s the girl

Who keeps her feelings

For she doesn’t want

Anybody to worry.

She always shows a happy face

Even though she feels the contrary.

She’s the one who taught me

To help others with all my heart,

To treat people

The way I want to be treated.

She’s the one who told me

That everything will be alright

When my world seemed to cave in.

She’s the one who told me

Most of the jokes that made me laugh

Til my stomach hurt.

She’s the one

Who laughs with much mirth

And smiles with all truth,

The girl whose eyes sparkle

Everytime she smiles.

She’s the one

Who loves to please,

The girl who thinks before she speaks,

The one who dances

With the grace of a female deer

And sings with the flair

Of a talented hummingbird.

She never knew

How beautiful she looked,

When moonlight

Caught her face

While she was reading

Her favorite book.

She didn’t know

I was watching her

The entire time.

And she didn’t see me smile.

She doesn’t know

I smile

Everytime I see her.

She doesn’t know

That she is the girl

I fell in love with.

For she is Ezra.

One Friday, I was tasked to interview incoming HRM freshmen students. Through the interview, I was to determine which students would be accepted into the BSHRM curriculum. These students had to have grades higher than 83 and an interview score of not less than 90. The ones who did not meet the criteria for BSHRM (mostly the F students in high school) would automatically fall into the 2-year Associate HRM curriculum. After so many students I have interviewed who had merely average ratings or even failing scores, a promising girl now walked into the interview room. She was a graduate from Batasan, and like the others, had high hopes of being admitted into the program. I looked at her admission profile: she is the daughter of a dimsum helper and a housewife and lived with her uncle at IVC Marikina. However, what struck me most about her is that she had very high grades (93 average) in high school and above average admission test scores, unlike most students I have interviewed. Also, she spoke English fluently, though she did this very shyly. Immediately, I was ready to sign her sheet and indicate “for BSHRM”. However, she sadly told me that she would just be enrolling under the 2-year course because her parents would have difficulty financing her studies if she were to take the 4-year course instead. I felt pity for this unfortunate girl who had no other choice but to enroll in a 2-year course because of poverty. I called for my mother who is also working in the same school and asked her what financial assistance the school can offer this bright young woman. Unfortunately, scholarships in the school were very hard to apply for and could offer no assurance. What little hope that girl had for a better education was diminished. I thought about her dilemma: her parents cannot afford an additional P3,500 per semester to send her for a 4-year course (total of P14,000). Imagine having to settle for a less brighter future because you do not have P3,500! I was moved that I told her I would finance her studies as long as she would take BSHRM and she would maintain a reasonable maintaining grade. She told me she’d think about it. I told her numerous reasons why she should opt for the 4-year course instead of the 2-year one. I gave her a week to think hard about it.

I was very happy with what I did. I had been thinking lately on how else I can make a difference in this world. I was thinking about convincing my friends and relatives on joining me in my advocacy to help finance the education of bright and promising students who cannot go to college because of poverty. Due to my excitement at this new fulfilling endeavor, I even computed that at about P525 share per sem, 20 people can already make a difference in the lives of 3 students. What a small price to share for a brighter future of 3 people! I was ecstatic at the idea.

After a week of answering her qualms about taking BSHRM, she texted me yesterday and said,

“Ma’am gud eve… Nakapagdecide na po ako. Mag-a-Assoc na lang po ako. Thanks po sa offer… and for being kind… May God bless you always. Thanks po ulit.”

Ah! I believe she did not think hard about it. How fortunate she could have been. She was worried that she won’t be able to comply with the maintaining grade i set (2.0) and perhaps she was too shy to accept help from a stranger. I was also disappointed at her parents. Here is a person who is offering to help with the financing of their daughter’s education without anything in return and they won’t even guide their daughter in making a decision. Were they that proud? Too proud that they’d be willing to sacrifice the education of their daughter? Sadly, helping fails when the one you’re helping won’t accept help.

This line from Alice in Wonderland got me thinking:

Alice said,

“Would you please tell me which way to go from here?”

The cat said,

“That depends on where you want to get to.”

…Wish I knew where I wanted to go. =(

Suddenly I’m caught in a situation where I am questioning the path I am taking. Is this part of growing up? Is this just a consequence of indecision?

Indeed, I wish I knew the answers to my questions…

Apat na araw na lang at sasapit na ang araw na pinakaaabangan at pinakapinag-aaksayahan ko ng brain space- and 2nd year anniversary namin ni Sinta!

Paano nga ba namin dapat icommemorate ang higit sa dalawang taon naming pagsasama? Last year, sa Bora. Supposedly ngayon dapat sa Thailand or sa Subic with the tigers and the dead chickens (sana live na lang para mas gory) pero dahil sa aking kakulangan ng funds at sa katamaran kong kumuha ng passport, hindi nagpush thru. Hindi naman sa sinisisi ko ang napakaliit kong sweldo sa pagtuturo (isang daan kada oras), pero wala lang talagang masyadong financial wealth sa trabahong yon. Kasalanan ko rin naman dahil hindi ako nag-ipon.

Come to think of it, kasalanan ko talaga.

Anyway, napag-isipan ko na actually ang dapat na iregalo ko sa kanya. Sabi nga niya, kung wala talaga akong pera, pagmamahal lang solb na siya. Pero di naman ako papayag! Ako pa, na napakagenerous kahit walang pera! Haha!

Sana may magdonate. Sabi ko nga kay Sinta magsolicit kami sa loved ones. Hehe! Fund drive… Hindi naman kami ganun kakawawa. Naks!

Haha wish us luck!

Take Some Time

by Leon Hansen

Take some time to smell the flowers. As you walk the paths of life.

Take some time to ease the tensions. From the challenges and the strife.

Take some time to hear the birds sing. As they usher in the dawn.

Though the day be just emerging. Too soon it will be gone.

Take some time to watch a sunrise. Now and then a sunset too.

Just be sure that seeking pleasure. Isn’t all you ever do.

Take some time to count your blessings. Though you feel they’re not that great.

You will find they’re more abundant. Than you thought at any rate.

Take some time to banish hatred. When and where you can.

Just detest man’s evil ways. And not your fellow man.

Take some time to love your children. Every moment you are free.

The benefits sure exceed. A university degree.

Take some time to love your neighbor. And even more important still,

Take some time to love yourself. Or not many others will.

And if you don’t like that image. Of yourself that other’s see,

Take some time to make some changes. Be the best that you can be.

Take some time to help another. Who you think might need a hand.

You will find the satisfaction. Leaves you feeling sort of grand.

Take some time to live by virtue. In the best way that is known,

And respect the rights of others. As equal to your own.

Take some time to just appreciate. The fact that you are here,

And to know the risen Lord. And to trust Him without fear.

If you do these things with diligence. You will eventually be glad.

If you don’t attempt to do them. You may one day wish you had.

Although this no doubt could impose. Upon your time for seeking wealth,

There should be little question. That it could improve your health.

And though you might not be as wealthy. Nor drive so fine a car,

You’ll find you will be richer. In other ways by far.

Courtesy of Dra. Nida. Salamat doktora!

Bago ako grumaduate, isa lang talaga ang gustong kong gawin o mangyari sa buhay ko: to make a difference in people’s lives. Gusto ko kasi na makatulong sa iba. Na kahit pumanaw man ako, I know I have done some good in this world and I will be remembered for that. Yun talaga ang main goal ko sa buhay. Pero ang tanong, how will I make a difference?

Bago pa man ako nagmartsa, nasadlak ako sa isang trabahong hindi ko akalaing papatulan ko- ang pagtuturo. Habang hindi pa pormal and aking titulo bilang “graduate”, kinuha na ako para magturo sa kolehiyo- isang trabahong inakala kong walang kachallenge challenge.  Tinanggap ko ang offer kahit na napakaraming naghihintay na oportunidad sa akin pagkagraduate at kampanteng kampante akong matatanggap ako kahit saan ako mag-apply at napakalaki ng sweldo sa isang hotel.  Tutal, sa isip ko, panandalian lang ‘to at saka ibinulong sa sarili, “Bahala na si batman”.

Hindi ko alam, yun na pala ang daan patungo sa gusto kong magawa sa buhay. Alam kong maraming paraan para makagawa ng difference pero dito ako dinala ng Diyos.

Sa kurso ng aking pagtuturo, narealize ko na hindi pala siya ganun kadali. Lalung-lalo na pag pinagsasabay mo ang MBA at pagtuturo. Hindi kasi siya katulad ng ibang trabaho na pagkatapos mo sa trabaho, wala ka ng iuuwing pag-iisipan sa bahay. Kumbaga nga “you don’t bring your work home.” Sa pagtuturo kasi, constantly iniisip mo yung mga ginawa mo. Iisipin mo ano yung ginawa mo kahapon, kanina, at kung anong gagawin mo bukas. Sa totoo lang, ngayon ko lang napatunayan na bayani nga ang mga guro.

Karamihan sa mga tinuturuan ko hindi lumaking katulad ko na nabiyayaan ng talino’t sapat na karangyaan. Hindi ko sinasabing bobo sila pero kung iba lang siguro ang estado nila sa buhay, siguro iba rin ang takbo at laman ng isip nila. Sila yung mga lumaki sa mga pamilyang hindi ganun kawell-off sa buhay. Narealize ko na siguro kung lumaki sila sa environment na kinalakihan ko na kung saan available sa akin ang lahat ng resources, siguro mas magagaling pa sila sa akin ngayon, mas marami sana silang natutunan at nakapag-aral sana sila sa mga paaralang hindi 1 is to 60 ang ratio ng guro sa estudyante. Siguro mas nakapanood sila ng cable at hollywood movies at nakabasa ng mga magagandang libro kung saan mas mahahasa ang kanilang Ingles at pakikipagtalastasan. Siguro mas maiintindihan nila ang mga guro dahil may sapat silang glucose para sa enerhiyang kailangan ng nerves sa utak at mas may lakas para gumalaw at magrecite dahil nakakakain sila ng tama. Siguro mas makakapagconcentrate sila sa pag-aaral dahil hindi nila iisipin na kailangan nilang magtrabaho para makatulong sa pamilya. Siguro wala sa kanila ang hihinto sa pag-aaral dahil kaya silang suportahan ng kanilang mga magulang.

Ang swerte ko pala.

Kaya naisip ko, kaya siguro ako biniyayaan ng Diyos ay para ishare ko ang aking talino para matulungan silang makaangat sa buhay at para makatulong ako sa paghinto ng siklo ng kahirapan at kamangmangan.

Minsan kahit pagod na ako at wasted na talaga sa dami ng ginagawa at umiisip, sinisikap ko pa ring makapasok. Pag nakikita ko kasi yung curiosity sa mga mata ng mga estudyante ko at pag lumalabas yung confidence nila na kaya nilang magsurvive at umangat sa ibang nag-aral sa mga sikat na eskwelahan, sumasaya ako. Nawawala lahat ng pagod at pag-aalala ko. Lalo na kapag may magsasabi sakin na, “ma’am sana kayo ulit magturo samin next sem kasi ang dami ko pong natututunan sa inyo”.

Kaya kahit na mahirap magturo at mababa ang sweldo, sisikapin ko pa ring makapagturo because I was blessed for this very reason.

Sa unibersidad na pinag-aralan ko, lahat ng bagay kailangang busisiin at analisahin hanggang sa mga pinakamaliit na detalye at pati mga bagay na nakatago kelangang hanapin. Kaya nga kapag may nakasalamuha kang iskolar ng bayan, malamang may pagka-“OC-OC” yan (term ni Ma’am Talavera).

Kaya tuloy ngayong nag-e-MBA ako, bumabaliktad ang mundo ko.

Pero bago yon, may prof akong kinatatakutan. Matanda na siya, umiika-ika, pero napakatalino. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ganun ang impression ko sa kanya. May aura kasi siya na parang alam niya ang lahat. At base sa mga narinig ko, napakastrikto niya. Yung tipong naglalock ng pinto ng classroom para hindi makapasok yung mga late. Eh kumusta naman ang mga MBA students di ba? Dagdag pa dun, mababa daw siyang magbigay ng grade at “he knows the distinction between a 3 and a 5″, ayon kay Sir Agulto.

Anyway, bilib ako sa kanya. Siguro dahil na rin sa kwento samin na nagpost-graduate studies siya sa Harvard.

Kahit na gaano pa ako nasisindak sa kanya, natutuwa ako pag naglelesson kami kasi parang napakatanga ko na hindi ko naisip yung mga pinagsasasabi niya. Feeling ko nga kung ikocompile ko lahat ng mga importanteng sinabi niya, makakagawa ako ng “RARe Quotes” .

Minsan napapaisip ako na actually, yung mga sinasabi niya may pagka-common sense. Siguro masyado naming inaanalyze lahat ng bagay na hindi kami makapaniwala kung ang problema lang sa case ay ganun-ganun lang. Tipong “Yun na yon?!”. Tapos pag darating na yung time na ieexplain niya yung analysis niya of the case, mamamangha na lang kami na parang bakit hindi namin naisip yun eh napakasimple lang.

Siguro yun minsan ang disadvantage ng pagiging iskolar ng bayan. We overcomplicate things too much.

At sa prof kong nakakatakot ko narealize na nalimutan ko na ang aking dear old common sense.

Sadly, nung undergrad, nagpakabaliw kami kakaanalyze ng mga bagay-bagay. Tapos ngayon sa MBA, kelangan naming magbayad ng higit sa isang daang libo para lang marealize na ganun lang pala dapat mag-analyze- hindi kinakailangang halungkatin ang bawat letra, tuldok, at espasyo ng mga bagay-bagay at ireformat ang sistema para bumalik sa blissful slight ignorance aka common sense stage.

Ctrl+Z

Haay buhay… Ayoko nang kompyutin ang opportunity costs ng pag-e-MBA. Sapat na ang mga naisip ko gamit ang common sense.

She does not know

How much I adore

Everything about her,

How often she makes me smile,

Or how empty the world will be

Without her blissful laughter.

She’s the girl

Who loved to play

Rain or shine,

Every afternoon

At the swing by the lagoon.

She’s the one who cried

When her wounds

Were treated with alcohol.

The one who tried

To mend mine

Claiming she would be a doctor.

She’s the girl who ate

All my Tootsie Rolls

For she absolutely loved them.

She’s the one who stepped

On spiders with fear

But with nothing less than hate.

She’s the girl

Who keeps her feelings

For she doesn’t want

Anybody to worry.

She always shows a happy face

Even though she feels the contrary.

She’s the one who taught me

To help others with all my heart,

To treat people

The way I want to be treated.

She’s the one who told me

That everything will be alright

When my world seemed to cave in.

She’s the one who told me

Most of the jokes that made me laugh

Til my stomach hurt.

She’s the one

Who laughs with much mirth

And smiles with all truth,

The girl whose eyes sparkle

Everytime she smiles.

She’s the one

Who loves to please,

The girl who thinks before she speaks,

The one who dances

With the grace of a female deer

And sings with the flair

Of a talented hummingbird.

She never knew

How beautiful she looked,

When moonlight

Caught her face

While she was reading

Her favorite book.

She didn’t know

I was watching her

The entire time.

And she didn’t see me smile.

She doesn’t know

I smile

Everytime I see her.

She doesn’t know

That she is the girl

I fell in love with.

For she is Ezra.